On Friday we comb through our extensive archives to find an older article that we feel deserves another look. From August 7, 2009, Dungeon’s Master once again presents: The Gaming Jerk.
During a recent D&D game at my Friendly Local Gaming Store (FLGS) I got stuck next to a gaming jerk for four hours. Being the nice guy that I am I didn’t say anything at the time, but the more I thought about it afterwards the more I realized that gaming jerks need to be singled out and reprimanded for the good of the game.
So there I was, sitting down getting ready to play an LFR module. I knew the DM (whom I’d played with before) and one other player. The other five participants were faces I’d seen around my FLGS but never gamed with before. Since it was a level 4-7 module I knew that everyone had at least a dozen adventures under their belt so the likelihood of having any rookies at the table was pretty low. As we went around the table and did introductions my assumptions were confirmed. These were hard-core gamers. All of them had clearly cut their teeth on previous editions of D&D and were 4e converts through-and-through (like me).
It wasn’t until mid-way through the first encounter that I started to take note of the gaming jerk. The gaming jerk is a nice enough guy. He’s very pleasant, funny and friendly. He’s a very experienced gamer and really knows his D&D. And therein lays the problem. Not only does he know a lot about D&D, but he felt that it was his obligation to share this information with everyone else at the table.
At first this seemed like just a few helpful reminders. But I realized that the gaming jerk wouldn’t back off. Everything needed his input. Whenever someone announced what power they were using the gaming jerk would describe what it did along with its subsequent conditions. This got annoying pretty fast.
Up until this point I figured that the gaming jerk was just trying to be helpful. Based on his actions thus far I wouldn’t have even classified him as a gaming jerk. If we had some rookies at the table his assistance would have been greatly appreciated. However, none of us were first-timers so his input was unnecessary and redundant.
Now I can forgive the player who is just trying to help. Although his methods are overbearing and obnoxious, his motives stem from the best of intentions. However, the gaming jerk earned his moniker when he started sharing his real-life knowledge of the monsters with everyone.
I haven’t really had many opportunities to DM 4e yet. As such I’ve avoided reading the Monster Manual and Monster Manual 2 as much as possible. I want my first encounter with 4e monsters to be fun and exciting. When I encounter a new monster for the first time I don’t want to know any more about it than my character would.
As soon as the DM placed the minis on the map the gaming jerk started announcing everything about the monsters. Had his character made the appropriate knowledge check (which he probably would have succeeded in anyway) then his actions, although taken out of turn, would merely be good role-playing. But he didn’t even wait for that opportunity. Before anyone could ask him to stop he had accurately described all three monsters including their resistances, vulnerabilities, special attacks, ranged abilities, rechargeable special powers, approximate hit points and defense scores. My first time fighting wraiths was ruined thanks to the gaming jerk.
The funny thing is that I don’t think the gaming jerk realized he was doing anything wrong. I think he believed he is being genuinely helpful. I get that and I applaud his desire to help others. But I don’t think I was alone in my classifying this guy as a gaming jerk.
So what should you do if you find yourself at a table with a gaming jerk? What should you do if, after reading this article, you realize that you are a gaming jerk? First and foremost remember that D&D is a game. We’re there to have fun. If your actions ruin someone else’s chance at having a good time then perhaps you should take a second to think before you act. There are different kinds of players and different styles of play. Don’t assume that because your core gaming group does something a certain way everyone else wants to do things the same way.
With any luck at least a few gaming jerks will read this post before GenCon next week, realize that they’re not as helpful as they think they are and will tone it down. If you find yourself at a table with a gaming jerk remind him that although he knows all the Wizard or Cleric powers his character most likely does not, likewise when it comes to describing monsters.
If you don’t feel comfortable calling out the gaming jerk or he doesn’t pick up on your subtleties, look to the DM for assistance. Most DMs are pretty sharp and even if the gaming jerk doesn’t realize what you’re saying the DM will most likely pick up on it and take charge. It’s up to each of us to do whatever we can to make every gaming experience enjoyable.
So to all the gaming jerks out there I say thanks for trying to help, but let me play my own character. If I need help I’ll ask for it. And when it comes to monster knowledge keep your comments in-character, from one PC to another.
View Comments (4)
I've gamed with people like that. Thankfully I DM most of the time and I tell the player to keep in character or chill out.
I'm currently in a personal group where two out of four players can't stop grabbing at their cell phones, turning on music, or getting up to play with the cat. It's infuriating, but sometimes you have to deal with it to keep the game movng along and pull them aside after the game is over.
I dunno, the way you're speaking about him doesn't feel like a jerk....I had in mind more of a bullying type of player while reading the headline, while we have here someone with encyclopedic level knowledge trying to get approval/recognition from his peers while optimizing play at the table, in his way, which I agree can be bothersome.
Yes, someone giving out the spoilers to a movie you've never seen make you want to rip his head off. But if the assumption is you'll be watching a movie you've all seen before and he goes out about his favorite part in it, is it wrong? I dunno....
My current group is excellent about avoiding this sort of behavior (I guess that's why I play with them!).
But, I run a lot of games at cons and interact with all sorts of players. At first (several years ago) I just kindda ignored this behavior and hoped it would get better. Eventually though I realized that my gaming time and energy are far to valuable to have it ruined by some idiot totally lacking in social skills (which I always find ironic given the fact that we participate in a social hobby).
These days I approach the issue one of two ways: If I'm a player (which is very rare) I simply excuse myself from the game. This happend last time I was at a con. When the GM asked I simply said that "I know what kind of experience I'm looking for and I don't think its the same as your other players." Of course at a con there is always an alternate ready to go.
If, on the other hand, I'm running a game I have an extremely low tolerance for the behavior. When we start a session I give a quick outline of expected behavior at my table (take calls outside, side conversations to a minimum, focus on the game, be respectful of my time and the other players' time) and will give someone a single warning before asking them to leave the table.
I've had a few people comment that I'm being too harsh but I strongly disagree. Ours is a social hobby in which most people are trying to have fun, if your behavior or definition of fun is ruining it for others you need to be called on it. Maybe you're ignorant to the problem, maybe not. But either way you're never going to change if others don't address the issue out front and in the open.
While reading the article I thought that some people I play with might think of me this way. Because I like to share my knowledge with others and yes it's my way of being helpful and friendly. And I won't stop acting like that until someone says: "Hey, stop it, you are ruining my game". Until that time I think that everything is going alright.